A Pet Peeve - Lack of Courtesy
By Oregon Curly
17 Dec 2008
Let me see, if I recall the wording on a 'contact' request goes something like this:
'They either know you or are interested in following your work' ...
From that, one might infer that a person requesting the contact should either know you, or be interested in your work. Interested enough to at least leave a courtesy comment on a submission or two, before sending the request for you to be a contact of theirs. To do otherwise, in my opinion, is discourteous if not downright rude. It strikes me as simply a blatant, self-serving demand for attention with no concern for anyone but themselves.
If you've read this far, you may be starting to think ..sheesh, what a grouch! You could be right. Or I just might have a very low tolerance for uncivilized behavior.
What to do about these exemplars of unabashed begging, that's the question, eh. Personally, when I receive a 'contact request' I check to see if there have been any comments from the person, and I check their pages to see their work. If there are no comments, I might wait a day or two, re-check their page and if the work is good, I'll make a comment or two. If nothing is received by the end of a week, I simply delete the request. If I'm busy, which actually happens sometimes, I may bypass the week of waiting and simply hit the delete button, thus ending a bit of clutter in my in-box. So, if there are any readers out there who have not had a reply from me on your 'contact' request, now you know why.
19 responses
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Lynn H said (17 Dec 2008):
Funny you should post this. I have been thinking for about a week that I was going to post nearly the same thing. I bet in the last week, I have gotten 20 contact requests. I used to just automatically click and add them. (that's why up until last week, I had nearly 1,700 contacts!) , then I got to paying closer attention, and 99.99% of the time, these people never ONCE even looked at my photos, let alone commented. So I have changed how I do things too. I pared my contacts down to around 700, and I don't automatically add someone now when I get the notice. I do go comment on one or two of their shots, and then if they come visit my work and comment or favorite at least one, I will go add them. I am not a mean person, but I have so many contacts that DO comment on my photos and I on theirs, that I can't keep up with people who don't even care about what I'm doing, but want me to vote for their photos, etc. Call me nasty, but that's how it's going to be now. Thanks Curly for putting into words what I've been thinking for some time, and I bet we're not the only ones.
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Oregon Curly said (17 Dec 2008):
Dang Lynn, you should have gone first .. your's is much better than mine. Thanks for reading it and even agreeing in spirit. I also have a difficult time in keeping up with the contacts I do have, and I do feel badly about that.
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Gail Anderson gave props (17 Dec 2008):
wish there was a button to vote for this...
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Norman Caldwell said (17 Dec 2008):
I agree whole heartedly Curly! I have 3 setting in my mailbox right now that have left no message or indication they viewed my work. And when I go into my contacts about half of them I'm thinking....who are these people I never hear from??? Lynn's got the right idea...we have to manage better to prevent overwhelming ourselves. But will these people get the message? I doubt it since they never look at anything but they're own photos! Bravo Curly!!!
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Gail Anderson said (17 Dec 2008):
the problem is, besides their lack of courtesy, our filter of "photos from contacts" gets littered with photos, making it hard to really look at the ones from our contacts who we actually interact with and who interact with us. So, I will probably take the time to do the same and remove some contacts myself. Thanks Curly!
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Sarah Dudley said (17 Dec 2008):
When did JPG turn into a popularity contest?
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Oregon Curly said (17 Dec 2008):
Good question Sarah. When I signed on, I thought it was a 'peer review' type of setup, critiquing each others work, not a contest to see how many contacts one could amass while not offering any feedback. However, I think the editors selection for publication process tends to encourage the present situation .. the most views/comments gets published. 'Tis a quandry, is it not.
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Lynn H gave props (17 Dec 2008):
But, OC......on the other hand, I've seen photos published that had ONE comment and were not even "HOT" so in that sense, it's not who knows who, and how many comments one gets. I think the one word in your title expresses it for me. Regardless of voting or commenting or whatever....."COURTESY" should still be paramount. Just my 2 cents (again)
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Oregon Curly said (17 Dec 2008):
True Lynn, good points. Quality does show through and win in the end. In life as well as art.
I appreciate courtesy but don't like paintings of Elvis on black velvet. Whatever the heck that means. ;-) -
Carole Thajer said (17 Dec 2008):
Dearest Curly.. I couldn't agree more... thanks for bringing this to the open..
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Jason Platt said (17 Dec 2008):
Curly- You appear to have hit on something here..So much so that I am going to start weeding my contacts. I have reached a point with some people, having commented and favorited their work on multiple occasions, of asking if they have viewed my work and might perhaps offer an opinion? Am I a lonely man in need of virtual contact? Noooo... Just some 1 who feels as part of the community process other jpgers could improve the quality of this site all the more so with a little more effort...We all enjoy comments and getting favorites...
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Lesley S gave props (17 Dec 2008):
What I want to know is ... where's the picture to prove all this??!! Just kidding! I'm the newbie here but already am having a problem keeping up - even though I don't have that many contacts. Uh, have I commented on any of your pics yet, Curly?? haha ... I'll make a point of doing so soon's I finish here!
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Lynn H gave props (17 Dec 2008):
If it weren't "OKAY" to get comments and favorites.....then JPG wouldn't have put them as an option. It's nice to get and to give in my opinion. I enjoy giving comments as much as getting them.
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Aubrey's Oma gave props (17 Dec 2008):
What I dislike the most is people sending me CHECK OUT MY NEWEST SUBMISSION messages. And. VOTE FOR ME messages. I've told several of these senders that the quickest way to get a 'nay' vote from me is to send me these messages.
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Oregon Curly said (17 Dec 2008):
Aubrey's Oma, you beat me to it, thanks. ;-)
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Norman Caldwell said (18 Dec 2008):
A contact of mine recently put it most eloquently: '"contacts" of each other, simply means, we appreciate each other's work, so we should visit each other's pages, photos and stories as frequently as possible.... That is sign of a true contact ! [and a reminder is welcomed] so that I should not miss it by mistake." I replied that I place obligation upon myself, even though I'm very stressed for time, to visit contacts....and I do so because of my admiration of their work. Viewing photos is one of my favorite passtimes. But I myself APPRECIATE a notice of a post from a true contact because I just don't have that kind of time and would probably NEVER notice it on my own! Between my time-demanding job, family, and pursuit of another degree, my jpg time is 10 minutes here and there of squeezed-in moments in my day. And when I do miss someone's posted entries, I feel guilty of neglect. So....sorry, I disagree with you guys on that....feel free to send me reminders if you're one of my contacts!
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Oregon Curly said (18 Dec 2008):
Excellent point Norman. In retrospect, I should have worded my last a bit differently. I too like friendly reminders .. age and time constraints at play here. It is the 'and vote' part that gets to me. Difference? "Grandpa, would you come to my birthday party next week?" or 'Grandpa, my birthday is next week, don't forget to buy me a present." One strikes me as a friendly reminder and is greatly appreciated, the other simply a overt bit of begging for a present. Comical from a 3 year old, deplorable from an adult. So, as you've just stated Norman, please contacts, feel free to send me reminders of new photos/stories - in fact I encourage it.
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Norman Caldwell gave props (18 Dec 2008):
I think you nailed it OC...
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Jeets Photography gave props (28 Apr 2009):
"In your face " Truth. Agree with you 100%
