Fear
By Nakoami Stallard
16 Dec 2008
I guess everyone has their own secret fears. At heart, I'm a country girl. Things like ice cream trucks, heavy traffic, and large groups of people freak me out. Until we moved a few weeks ago, I did not know ice cream trucks were real. I still am adjusting to keeping blinds closed when I'm home. Back at our old house, all of our neighbors were far enough away that privacy was not an issue. The country was beautiful, most of the time. The smell of pine, the open skies, the stars at night, I loved it all. Every once in a while it's scary, usually just during storms or at night. The only thing that bothered me in the country was it's just simply too easy to sneak around someone's property and not get caught. If I was left home alone, I always had a gun of some sort nearby. I knew the rules and dangers out there. I was not afraid of the random predators (ex. bobcats, panthers, snakes, coyotes, feral dogs, etc). Those didn't bother me.
Now I live in the city. My home is kind of in the "ghetto" part of town. I will not lie; I am not comfortable in this setting. We have scary ice cream trucks, creepy neighbors, and loud noises at night. Granted, I know the majority of the dangers here. I keep doors locked, gun loaded, etc. I just simply am not aware of all of the rules here. I'm slowly learning which stores are safe to go inside after dark, which stores not to go in at all, which streets to completely avoid, and when I need to just stay home. I can relate to wild animals. If they attack, it's usually out of need or fear. If people attack, it's normally because they want something you have, be it money or your body. To me, this is far more frightening than an animal that is just as afraid of me as I am of it. Yet, the city has its own unique beauty. I love to see the reflection of headlights on the road when it's raining and the hustle-bustle of people all seeming to move as one. I am learning to like living in town. It has just been an adjustment. I imagine that moving from the city to the country would be an equally difficult switch.
