How to live my LIFE
By Kelsey Scott
5 July 2008
How is it possible to live here? I've learned that living here, with a pill-head, a broken backed mother, a preggo, a spoiled brat, and friends who act like they care more than any of my family ever has, that i'm going to be ok.
1. You've got to remember you're just as bad. You were raised by the best after all right? The whole "taking these pills will make you feel complete" deal, afterall, isn't their fault, right? I'm a child growing up in a family who has always had an addiction problem. My mother seems to think it was all her but she's nothing short of amazing in my eyes. It's the missing essance of a father figure. I have never met him so I assume he didn't want me.
2. You've got to remember you're the only one. You have your own thoughts, beliefs, and morals that will never belong to them. Sure, they influenced the creation of your mind, but having your older sisters friends tell you "you're way more smarter than I could have imagined you'd be" gives you an uplifting feeling. I love my sisters dearly, I just wish they could see through my eyes; what I have to see everyday, back to back. Like someone is taking a remote control as soon as I shut my eyes to dream, pressing rewind and then play when the sun comes back up.
3. You've got to remember you won't be here forever. You will leave this place. But you will take a peice of it with you. Infact you will take your whole home with you. Almost like the world on your shoulders. You have the guilt that maybe they needed you or that maybe you should have never left. You ask yourself "Was it really that bad that I had to leave them to fend for themselves?" You remind yourself their the adults, they have already lived their lives, and now it's your turn.
4.You've got to remember to tell yourself this everyday or maybe you'll never escape the absorbing infactuation with fixing their problems. I've always told myself that if it makes you happy then it can't be that bad. I don't fret. I'll make something out of myself and they'll be proud. Thats how I keep going on with this life. I know i'll make them proud. And if I don't? Well thats a risk I've always been willing to take.
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