Bad Medicine
By N
3 May 2008
This story (http://www.jpgmag.com/stories/4117) is about a tragic case that was the inverse situation of what happened to me. It reminded me that I have a head and look normal because I did not pay any attention to a doctor's diagnosis. I was around 30-35 years old --I am now 61-- when I went to a doctor for what I thought was a more than normally long cold. Eventually I knew that what I had was sinusitis, but it was not diagnosed by the this doctor, whom I did not trust.
When he told me --after a few x-rays --that I had a tumor in the front of my head, I was surprised but not alarmed. It was the most visible part of my young body and that he had to operate. I asked about the operation. He said he would have to pull out the skin of the forehead and scalp, remove the tumor and after that, he had to replace the original with a man made plaque that would cover the loss. I remember vaguely, like a replay of an old movie, the word "plastic" resonating in my ears... the feeling that this was not real. I was young, I did not want to loose my looks. And I wouldn't.
My first and only reaction was unique. It was total, complete disbelief of what I heard, with a stern and decisive realization that he was not talking about me. No other possibility crossed my mind. I did not react with alarm, emotion or hysteria and I think that saved me. I just kept silent as he explained, thinking: " that is not me". I came out of that office and went home, saying nothing. I went to another doctor the next day who without much ado, examining the previously taken x-rays and without any other complicated processes pronounced that I had rhino sinusitis, an inflammation of the paranasal sinuses. THAT I could believe; that was totally cool and "acceptable".
What happened here? After that I continued my life as if that event had never occurred. I did live and still live with the inconveniences of sinusitis which can be none at some times and frequent at the most in other situations. As I grow older, I have thought of the only two possibilities that best fit what happened:
A: The diagnose was completely wrong and from it many other possibilities can branch out.
He was negligent
He was unqualified
He was crazy
He was a mistaken good doctor
Case No. on "B"
I imagined everything
B: The Diagnose was Correct
The second doctor was wrong
I still have the tumor, but it has not grown and is benign,
I believed I did not have the tumor, so that made it either disappear or stay put
I imagined everything
Although "imagined everything" appears twice and you may be tempted to believe that ii means its statistical weight is higher than the other possibilities, my life to this moment indicates the contrary. I am a very logical intelligent woman, I excelled at my scientific line of work, lead a life free of the symptoms that the first doctor and modern science can expect from such diagnosis, and have never suffered from headaches or any illness at all originated above my eyes. I can count with the heads on one hand the times I have had a headache since I was born.
How can a doctor be so quick and fast to make such an announcement without further corroboration? That was my clue, I think. I strongly believe that something related to "intention" happened here, combined with the belief and assertion in my mind that I was not the woman with a tumor in her head that he described. How potentially right or wrong can this assertion be? I do remember this feelings: clearness of mind, no space in my mind to accept that truth, complete decision, determination to live a long healthful life, no negative emotions, instead I felt neutral. I did not attach an emotional response to the idea. Can this be a possibility? I guess I will never know. The reality is that I did not go through the operation, my head and face were not disfigured and I live a fruitful and healthy life.
In the other most probable case, the man was a complete walking malpractice suit waiting to happen.
I know a make more of this story than most people would make because I go back to it once an again. What really happened? . There are infinite amount of stories more dramatic than this, where intention and decision played the part of redirecting an illness to a benign resolution. They are great stories to be studied so we can better know ourselves, our bodies and the invisible energies that we can command and direct in positive ways.
I know it may sound untrue and farfetched, but just give it a thought.
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
" Hamlet Act 1, scene 5, 159�167"
After all, I also would like to know if this happens more to women than to men. Just a curious afterthought!
