Ten Tips for 2008
By Gary Duffy
12 Jan 2008
Ten Thoughts to ponder for 2008
Number 10.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9.
Good health is merely the slowest
Possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8.
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich.
Number 7.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
Teach a person to use the Internet
And they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6.
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything,
But you still can't help but smile
When you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
Lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.
Number 3.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
And a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2.
In the 60's,
People took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people
Take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 thought for 2008:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among
millions and millions of cows in Canada, but we haven't got a clue as to where
millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno's.
What you do today,
Might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow".
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