. . . Sometimes I can’t wait for life to pass just so that I can be an old man telling fairy tales. Fuck MY kids, I just want to be a Grandpa. The stories I will tell . . . I sometimes wonder if they will even believe me. A grandfather who tried his damnedest to sample everything in life just once, and isn’t shy to talk about it. I’m sure I’ll embarrass them but . . . their skin will grow thick, and well . . . I’ve never had much respect for delicate people. Wait no, delicate is maybe the wrong word. What I’m going for is offendability. My grand kids will be unoffendable; because really, when you think about it, what is the point?
Life is about listening to others. You can’t truly listen and learn if your going to become emotional because someone used the wrong word for a black man, or said something not so nice about your mother, or president, or your teeth. Hear em out. Why not.
They can ask me any question, and I’ll shoot them straight . . . as straight as I can. I’ll mix fact with fairy tales and with any luck they will be ready for the world when the time comes. And when my first Grandchild turns 17, I’ll tell him or her that once upon a strange night your grandfather had an idea for a picture. So he called his extremely recently ex’ed ex girlfriend and said “I know how strange this is going to sound, but just hear me out . . .”
And then he made 2 more calls, the last one being . . .
“do you want to come and watch?”
Pacific Palisades, California
09.14.2006
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