In Your Face - Growing Old
She said "It is so hard to be so . . . isolated." And then she sobbed. Heart-wrenching body shaking sobs. And I snapped a picture. Feeling bad for taking her portrait at such a raw moment. But I don't ever want to forget.
My grandmother was 92 yesterday. My mom and I brought her cupcakes and flowers and truffles today. She is in a nursing home on property she's been at for the last 30 years. She enjoyed her hour and a half with us. Yet we all cried together. She is on a floor with lonely, somewhat catatonic others who are rarely visited. She never expected (or necessarily wanted to) live this long.
This is real. This is it. Growing old. Feeling lonely. Feeling left behind. Even with a good, caring family behind you and visiting as close to weekly as possible. What about the rest of them??????????
12 responses
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JOE FAILK gave props (17 Oct 2009):
I have no answer but this is a very moving photo. I wish her the best
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Regenia Brabham gave props (17 Oct 2009):
I imagine her hours without you are incredibly lonely. This is heartbreaking. A very painful capture.
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Gail Anderson gave props (17 Oct 2009):
very moving photo... my father is 89 and has dementia, we try to visit monthly (he's 300+ miles one way from us... ) and i often wonder how much of our visits he remembers.
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david ong gave props (17 Oct 2009):
touching..
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Warren ~Mangione~ gave props (18 Oct 2009):
A powerful and sad photo and story. My best to your grandmother. I will pray for her. Living alone is challenging.
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Karen Foto Fiddler gave props (20 Oct 2009):
You have no idea how close to my heart this photo is. Last year my 2 sisters had to have Momma start lining in an Assisted Living Home. Mom felt the same way as your Grandma. My Momma never did accept her having to live there. I feel for your Mom and you having to bear this burden of am I ding the right thin? You follow your heart and conscious and let the love you have for her gide you. that is all anyone can ask..One more thing..Never miss the chance for one second to tell your Grandma and Your Momma how much you love and appreciate them. If you don't and you blink you will have missed a chance that you may never get again.
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Nelson Campbell gave props (25 Oct 2009):
oh wow - you can't know how much this hits home for me right now - every single bit of it...Natalie...thanks for sharing this.
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Litz Go gave props (26 Oct 2009):
Just have my mom in law at our house this weekend. We picked her up from her house and together with her live in caregiver and sister in law, we brought them to the church that we go to. Every now and then, my sis in law and I alternately bring her to church then eat out after. She turned 83 and still a very alert lady. She requested me if I can bring her to her hairdresser so she can remove her whisker,=). She is always so happy to see us. She always tell everyone that I an good daughter in law. It is ok to take this photo. You always wanted to remember the happy and sad times. Sorry Natalie, I just saw it now.
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John Linton gave props (27 Oct 2009):
My father is 89 and still lives in his home. My mother-in-law is 89 and father-in-law is 93 and they still live in their home. This is a wonderful photo.
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Farras Abdelnour gave props (31 Oct 2009):
this is so, so very touching!
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adniloj gave props (1 Nov 2009):
You nailed it, this is real
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Aaron Schwartz gave props (8 Nov 2009):
My father is 92, his wife is 93, they're still at home. It ain't easy.
