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Slowly, and with great stealth, much like a ninja, I crept up on the elusive herd. "Easy, Buzz", I found myself saying as I approached the rarest of the rare. "Nice and slow, pal", I said as if it were a mantra. "Don't blow it, buddy", I whispered obnoxiously in my own ear. "You may never get this chance ag...."

"Shut it!", I shouted the silent shout at my inner annoyant.

As I neared the herd, I raised up from the grasses and OHMYGOD! I suddenly found myself face to face with the queen. "Oh crap!", I allowed myself.

Bravely, I squared my shoulders, cleared my throat, shook a tail feather and stared her dead in the eye. She stared back. I was frozen with something between fear and awe. I dared to stare some more. She chewed her cud. I decided to make the first move.

"Greetings, fair highnessness. How go thee?"

She looked me up. She looked me down. And with a toss of her flowing black and white hair and a wiggle of her ruby red earring, she uddered (heh!) but one word. One small sound that I will never forget. One terrible, beautiful sound that will haunt my nights forever.

"moo."

And slowly, proudly, as if the exchange had meant nothing, she walked away, a cloud of flies following obediently behind her.